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The Scarlet Letter

Poor Sandra B. I hope the rumors about old Jesse J. aren't true, but in the words of my BFF, "things aren't looking very good." Admitedly, it's all rumor and tabloid talk now, but lots of times when these things come out in Hollywood, there is some truth to it.

As the overall morality of our culture continues to decline, it seems more and more people are cheating - and getting away with it. It seems to happen so frequently that it doesn't even shock us anymore.

Take Tiger for example. I've always respected him for his golf abilities and thought he was a decent person. Yes, he's had a couple of rough months lately, but he'll get back to playing golf and all this cheating stuff will be forgotten.

You may recognize a couple of these famous cheaters, to name a few:
- Henry VIII
- Kobe Bryant
- Prince Charles
- Rudy Giuliani

And it's not just famous people. It's happening all around us. The popularity of social media is just making it worse. According to the New York Post "A whopping 81 percent of matrimonial lawyers say that in the past five years they have seen a massive spike in the use of social-networking information as evidence of infidelity, a new poll shows." There's even a site dedicated to Facebook cheating, actually started by a man who's wife cheated on him because she reconnected with an ex on Facebook (I know, it's not just men that cheat).

Did you happen to see the Oprah episode that featured the guy that wrote "Why Men Cheat"? He estimates that one in 2.7 men will cheat—and most of their wives will never know about it. He basically said men cheat because wives don't make their husbands feel special enough.  According to the author, "The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures. Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

So is it up to us to keep the marriage together? Should women have to bear this burden along with everything else we've got to do? Shouldn't men have to take some of the responsibility?

I'd like to think my husband is too busy and too tired to cheat.
Let's hope he'll always be too busy and too tired to wander.
And he's just now learned how to send an e-mail, so I'm thinking I'm good there.


  1. Poor Sandra!!! That is horrible! Your topic is very interesting and something that as a couple we have talked about a lot. One of our neighbors cheated with another neighbor and at the same time we found out my brother-in-law was having an affair. It has been awful for his family and we have felt awful for all of them. I pray that mine would never cheat. His father cheated on his mother, his uncle on his aunt and now his brother. We have talked a lot about how this affects the family and I don't think mine would do it. I catch myself just being a meanie sometimes and remind myself of all the good he does and I try to be kind. I am lucky and know it, but just forget sometimes!

  2. Oh lord. I shop buy all my booze-a-hol at Bullock's Package Store..uncle to cute I'll get the scoop. Hope it's not true but I agree with your friend. And as for cheatin' men in general, I do get a kick out of some of my girlfriends and female acquaintenances who are appalled at Tiger, John Edwards, et al. If they only knew how many of THEM are part of the statistics of the cheatin' men too. I may be a cynic but at least I'm rarely taken off guard. Give a man an inch and he'll take as much as he can get. Just sayin'.

  3. Poor Sandra! I had no idea. I usually read the trash mags while standing in line at the grocery store and havent' been yet this week. It is really sad what the world has come to.

  4. I saw the episode of Oprah and had the same thoughts. Why is the burdenon the wife? Didn't the husband say the same vows?

    Way to rain on her parade, huh?

  5. Sure hate this has to happen to Sandra right after her heartfelt thank you to Jesse at the awards!!!

  6. This breaks my heart! I hope to God it's not true!

  7. I hate this... I agree - Hopefully it's all a lie!

  8. I really am stunned with this news about Sandra and Jesse. He just seemed so crazy about her! I know she is devastated. Just a little over a week ago she talks about how much she loves him at the Oscars and they look so sweet together - now this.
    News reports say she moved out and has cancelled an appearance in London for Blind Side. Sad, sad. xoxo

  9. Good people do bad things. It's complicated. There are all kinds of "cheating" in marriages. Sometimes the "other woman/man" can be a job, a sport, a service club, even church. Maybe the expectation of fidelity is unrealistic (I don't believe this but it is a thought.) Trust is fragile. Maybe the lesson is that if you have a "good" marriage, consider it "priceless" and treat it as such, which means working toward keeping it safe and treasuring it now because it may unravel through no fault of your own. My heart goes out to Sandra and Jesse. And all the Sandras and Jesses.

  10. This breaks my heart! All we can do is pray for them!

  11. Very sad news! I feel for Sandra if the story is indeed true. Why is it that our society feels like men cheat because their spouses aren't making them feel "special enough"? What the world needs is more men (& women) of integrity. I feel so much compassion for those who have been hurt in this way.

    I held out a caught myself one heck of a guy!


  12. So sad! The thought that men cheat because we don't make them feel special makes me want to lose it. As if men are so good at making us feel special. UGH! I'd like to think Mister wouldn't cheat but I know one too many married man that's propositioned me and have single guy friends who have shined the light on some unsightly stuff done by married men. I've just depressed myself...

  13. I know, it was sad to hear of their breakup... and the reason why! It's definitely not all up to women to keep the relationship going... a relationship is about 2 people, and they both have to work at it. And really, women are naturally responders, so men have the larger responsibility to keep the marriage thriving. The statistics today are sad, but thankfully we don't have to be a part of them!!


  14. Great post.
    Wonderful Topic...

    In my opinion:
    No one ever really knows why this behavior is there...I think giving it a name or a definition, leaves room for an excuse.
    Example: Tiger Woods says he's a sex addict.
    What the *&%$?! NOW it's okay?!!!
    Just because there is a name for it, it's okay? Acceptable?
    If you lie/cheat.
    Your a pig.
    That is a name for it.

    Great post :)

  15. Love this post, even though it's a very unfortunate situation. I love Sandra Bullock, she's such a wonderful role model and seems like a great person. It's so unfortunate that this has happened to her. I hope she moves on, stays strong, kills with kindness and gets a great guy who treats her well and who's loyal!!

    Cute blog :)

  16. Now that's spooky! I was thinking about doing a blog post on the Scarlet Letter only because I was going to do a post on different reds. When I do, I'll link to your site. I'll let you know!


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